Principles of Kamalism

Kamal was my brother, yet he was more my father (his words). We were born 8 years apart and you could hardly say we grew up together. Yet, I adored him.

One of the earliest memories I have of him was when there was a row between us and our neighbors, Che Mud's family. There was a fruit tree, what we called "Buoh Kerhiak" (It's probably extinct because I have never seen it anywhere else in my life. The fruit has reddish skin of similar texture to langsat, size of small grapes and very sour), that grew on the border between our land plots. It might have been on the border but we had always regarded it as ours and I spent many hours swinging from its branches. However, on that day, Che Mud's family, led by Zaki, who was Kamal's age, staked a claim on the tree. There was a huge ruckus and we were close to exchanging blows when Kamal grabbed an axe and threatened to cut the tree down! That put an end to the argument.

Kamal left home in 1964, to study at St. John's in KL, when he was in form 4. There's another story to that. There were loud grumblings in the family when Kamil, the studious one among us and who always topped his class, failed to get selected to go to MCKK. That was the first time I caught the sense that there is injustice in this world. Apparently, he didn't get a place because the Kelantan quota was taken up by rich, well-connected people. Tok Ayah didn't take it lying down. Using his connections, he managed to get Kamil a place in St John's and it was decided that Kamal was to go as well to accompany him, staying with some relative. I don't know how long he lasted there but years later, he told me that he passed his MCE through self-study. He got sacked from the school for being caught being in a district of KL that was notorious for gangsterism. Tok Ayah was clueless about that. Kamal told him about it only on the day he graduated.

He came back to KB for his sixth form and I remember him having a whale of a time, zipping about the town on a Vespa (I can't remember whose) and sometimes Tok Ayah's car. His photo collection comprised scenes of beach parties with his class-mates and the like. He had a portable record player on which he played songs by Cliff Richard, The Strollers and The Animals. He was a natural leader and a few of his followers remain loyal to him to this day. During those days, he maintained a note-book that he titled, in his beautiful handwriting, "Principles of Kamalism". The first entries, I remember, were

1. Rules are meant for fools. To the wise, they are mere guidance.

2. The ends justify the means.

I now know that these were hardly original but to an impressionable 12 year old I was then, these were gems of wisdom.

Over the years, I hung on every word he uttered in my presence or wrote to me. Here are some samples:

1. Words can hardly describe how the heart feels - in a letter to me after Kakla was born.

2. If you want to be hurt, you can be hurt by anything - his response when told that a nurse cousin of ours was upset that he didn't look her up when he was at the hospital she was working at.

3. I may not pray 5 times a day but I am a better Muslim than most people I know - complaining about the many people who wear kopiah but are corrupt.

4. When I drive at night, I am always first to put my headlights down when there is an oncoming car. But if the oncoming car doesn't do the same, I'll turn on my spotlights - in other words, trust the other person. But if your trust is betrayed, hit him hard.

5. You go in through the front-door, you go out through the front-door - advising me to discuss my wanting to leave government service with my bosses before making a final decision.

6. When you work for someone, you have sold your time to your employer - advising me against moonlighting.

7. You put together a man and a woman long enough, they'll start thinking they are in love - explaining his choice of Cikha whom he was giving a ride daily to work.

8. I don't mind standing for election, so long as I don't have to campaign - response to someone who challenged him.

9. If I got a license to shoot someone, it will be the head of DBP - expressing annoyance at the bastardization of the Malay Language.

10. Never beg, even if you have to sell goreng pisang - advice to his children in his final days.

11. Only stupid people get divorced - one day in Temerloh.

12. I was wrong - years later when I sought his advice about my broken down marriage.

13. There are only 3 professions for women - doctor/nurse, teacher or house-wife.

14. He can tuang school as much as he likes, so long as he turns out to be at least like me - regarding Oee in Gua Musang.

15. I can't understand married couples who have separate bank accounts.

16. The best way to give is for the recipient not to know you are the giver.

17. You are already stupid. You watch all those Malay dramas, you'll become more stupid - remarks to his servant girl.

18. Ghoyak Cikpo - his often used dismissive remark.

19. Like postcard - describing scenes in his beloved KESEDAR scheme.

20. Best in the world - he used this so often to describe things he likes that one of his nicknames was Kamal Best.

21. We appear arrogant because we are always on the side of truth.

22. I got this lump on my back - he never used the dreaded "C" word. 

23. The treatment is worse than the disease - on his chemo treatment.

"Only the good die young", sang Billie Joel. How true that is of him. He was my value shaper, influencing how I see the world. How I regret that on the night before he died, he requested that I sleep beside him, and I actually slept soundly. I had no idea he was dying!